TOLUWANI ENIOLA writes about the desirability or otherwise of imposing career choices on children
In 2011, Bimpe Adeola (not real name), gained admission to study insurance in a polytechnic in Nigeria. Adeola felt fulfilled gaining admission to the institution because she had always nursed the dream of becoming an insurance broker.
She put in her best and won academic laurels in the institution. Midway to obtaining her national diploma, her world came crumbling like a pack of cards when her father insisted she should abort the programme and study medicine. All her efforts to persuade the father to drop the move proved abortive.
When she eventually gained admission to study medicine at the University of Lagos, Adeola made up her mind to disappoint her father by deliberately failing core courses. Three years after, the university issued her a notice of withdrawal from the programme and an option to study psychology.
She also refused to do well in psychology to further express her displeasure with her father’s decision. She later opened up about the cause of her poor performance to her mother and that she regretted leaving the polytechnic.
What pained her most was the fact that while she was wasting her time at the medical school, her mates in the polytechnic had graduated and became successful insurers.
A professor of psychology at UNILAG, Prof. Oni Fagbohungbe, who shared Adeola’s story with SUNDAY PUNCH, said there were many students suffering a similar fate because of their parents’ insistence that they must pursue a particular career.
The don, who condemned the act, revealed that such situation had affected the performance of students in higher institutions because many of them were studying wrong courses to please their parents.
He said, “The issue of parents choosing courses for their children and going further to impose such choices on them is a disturbing trend that we confront in the university system. It is not right at all because when you impose a career, you are causing a lot of problems. By nature, human beings resist imposition.
“Most parents, who impose study areas on their children, are trying to satisfy their parental ego. They are mesmerised by the mere saying that their daughter and son is an engineer, doctor or lawyer. They don’t allow the child to show a flair for what he or she wants to do.
“Children from early formative years will show a flair or aptitude for something which would help the parents to guide them on the right paths.”
Mr. Kehinde Phillips is one of the students whose parents insisted they must study medicine despite not having capability for the discipline.
Phillips wanted to study law and thus rejected his mother’s advice to be a science student in secondary school. After his secondary school education, the mother didn’t change her mind.
He said, “She was desperate that I must study medicine. She hired someone to sit the WAEC examination for me at a ‘miracle centres.’ The plan was that the fellow would sit beside me and take the examination for me. I refused to show up at the examination centre. I knew a career is something that what one’s life finds meaning in doing. Medicine was a wrong course for me.”
Philips said he eventually studied English and that while he was about to complete the programme, his mother realised her mistake. “That was how I won the battle,” he told our correspondent.
The President of the Chartered Institute of Bankers of Nigeria and Dean, Postgraduate Studies, Caleb University, Prof. Segun Ajibola, said it was important for parents to seek their children’s views before making career choices for them.
Ajibola said he wanted his first daughter to study law like he did because “I love the course.” He added that he didn’t seek his daughter’s opinion on the career choice and she eventually gained admission to study law at the university.
He said, “After the first session, I discovered that she didn’t do well. I asked her why and she said she would have loved to do something different. I asked her why she didn’t tell me initially that she didn’t want law.’’
Ajibola said he told her to choose her course and she chose mass communication. He added, “Since then, I never asked any of my children to do a course they showed no interest in.”
A parent, Mr. Adeoye Dada, noted that the imposition of courses on kids could ruin their future. He advised parents to only guide their children by noting where their interests and talents lie.
He said his daughter became a lawyer because from a young age, he realised she could talk and argue well.
“I studied her and it was obvious that she would be a good lawyer and to the glory of God, that is who she is today,” he stated.
Buttressing Dada’s position, a mother, Mrs. Adetayo Oluwatosin, said the practice of imposing courses on kids would not pay off.
Oluwatosin stressed that when children were given the opportunity to choose their preferred careers, they developed resilience necessary to face and conquer future challenges.
According to her, when such children encounter a slight problem, they won’t blame it on their parents.
Speaking about the children confused on what career choices to make, Oluwatosin said the parents of such kids needed to work with them to help discover his/her interest.
Also, a teacher, Ms Adetokunbo Abigail, noted that because some lawyers, doctors and engineers ended up as entertainers, interior decorators, farmers etc should teach parents lessons that “imposition of courses is an outdated practice.”
She said, “Children display various interests and it’s the duty of parents to guide, not even to tell them what to do.’’
Fagbohungbe said imposing careers on kids would stifle their creativity and make them unable to attain their potential. The psychologist shared the story of his son who initially wanted to study medicine but was admitted to study microbiology.
He said when his son told him he wanted to study medicine, he was elated because he would be “a proud father of a doctor.” The lecturer said he encouraged him to study microbiology with the plan that he would eventually study medicine after his first degree. The plan did not, however, work out.
He added that when he was in the second year at UNILAG, his son asked him if he still wanted him to study medicine. “I told him I never asked him to study medicine although I was happy about it. To my surprise, he said he had discovered a course that was better than medicine which he would love to pursue. He said he desired to study renewable energy and waste management. That was how he changed his course.
“One morning, after graduation, while he was participating in the mandatory one-year National Youth Service Corps in Anambra State, my son saw some cow dung and observed that vapour was coming out from the dung. That was how he started experimenting and discovered that there was gas in the dung and he constructed equipment.
“He then went on to generate methane gas from cow dung. Corps members went to his place to cook freely with the gas. He designed the equipment and when he became popular, he was interviewed by The PUNCH and other media outlets.’’
Fagbohungbe added that his son got scholarships through the invention to study for his master and PhD in the UK.
“He completed his PhD in that field at 28. You can imagine what would have happened if I had imposed medicine on him. Parents must observe their children’s area of comparative advantage and encourage them to pursue careers in that path,” he stressed.
A professor of Guidance and Counselling at the University of Ibadan, Oyo State, Joe Osiki, supported Fagbohungbe’s views. He said it was wrong for parents to impose career on their children because the choice of career was supposed to be a “joint decision.”
He, however, stated that the role of parental guidance was important for the child not to study a wrong course.
Osiki added, “The parents should get the support of a guidance counsellor and work out a modality for the right career. Many children are simply enchanted by the dreams of studying medicine, law, etc. not because they have the flair for it or the qualification but because of friends who have decided to do same.”
He stated that a professional counsellor would administer a test to know the child’s competence.
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