Jazz saxophonist, Wale Adekanye, otherwise called Walesax, and his wife, Toyin, share their love story with TOLUWANI ENIOLA
How did you meet your wife?
Wale: I met her in a church during a youth choir gathering. We became friends when we both joined the church’s youth choir. My initial plan was to just be her friend. We later became very good friends.
What were the initial attractions?
Wale: She talked so calmly and related well with people. Her beauty too attracted me.
Toyin: One of his character traits that attracted me was his simplicity. Also, he sings so well. He is very neat and modest with his style of dressing.
How long did your courtship last?
Wale: We courted for about six years.
How did he propose to you?
Toyin: He always asked that we hang out together. I am the type that does not like going out to public places. I did not feel comfortable hanging out with him in public because he is popular. One reason why I am not always comfortable around him then was because he usually took time to greet many people. While he did that, I had to wait for him.
One day, he insisted I follow him to one of his jazz shows on Lagos Island and I accepted. Eventually, he took me to a different location to have lunch and while we were chatting, he paused and asked if I could marry someone like him. He proposed quietly because he is a shy guy. I took a deep breath and said, “yes, why not?”
I did not have to do much thinking about his proposal because we had been relating as intimate friends before he decided to be serious with me. Since he is the type of man I had always wanted, I did not need to pretend when he proposed. I said yes with no further delay.
At what point did you decide to get married?
Wale: I finished my National Youth Service Corps programme in 2009. I had a five-year goal plan after my NYSC. Getting married was one of the goals. When I realised that was the only goal left to be achieved at the time, I did not waste any more time since I realised that I could handle a home both financially and emotionally.
Toyin: I always prayed to God that I didn’t want to be 30 years old before the right man proposed to me. I knew God had answered my prayers by sending the right person at the right time.
Being a known jazz saxophonist, did you ever think he might break your heart?
Toyin: I never thought of that for a second.
How have you succeeded in staying married despite the high rate of divorce among celebrity couples?
Wale: We pray together. My wife is my prayer partner and best friend. Most importantly, we tolerate each other every time and our watchword is patience.
How often do you have misunderstanding and how do you manage it?
Wale: I hardly misunderstand her at any point because I know what she can do and I always forgive her in advance.
Toyin: He is a quiet person; so, you can’t tell when he is angry at you because he will just keep to himself for the time being. Later, he would pour out his mind in a very calm manner and we just sort it out at once.
How do you complement your husband’s music career?
Toyin: I share his songs among my colleagues, friends and family. I ensure that I pray for him regularly.
Did your family oppose your decision to marry him?
Toyin: No! In fact, everyone around me was staring at him the first time he came to see my father. People were busy taking photographs with him and getting his autographs.
Which Nigerian meals do you prepare for your wife?
Wale: I cook Nigerian jollof rice with fried plantain for her. She is always happy anytime I decide to cook for her because I do it once in a while. She enjoys it and always asks for more.
Can you share a memorable experience as a married couple?
Wale: I remember the midnight that she went into labour. It was funny. After taking her to the hospital, the doctor told me she would be out in 20 minutes. After 20 minutes, I didn’t know when I started crying because I couldn’t bear the screams from the labour room.
Toyin: I remember an encounter a few weeks after our wedding. We were still struggling to understand each other. I really can’t remember what happened. But for about seven days, we didn’t talk to each other. He would come back from work, ate the food I cooked and wouldn’t even say good night. We slept on the same bed. When he was fed up, he came back one night and decided not to eat. I said, “Lai lai, you must eat.” And the next thing, we started laughing about it and that was how it ended.
How do you manage to be a celebrity and a responsible husband?
Wale: It has not been easy but I can say God has been faithful.
How do you cope when he is not around?
Toyin: I hang out with my friends and siblings.
How do you cope with his fans?
Toyin: Funnily enough, I don’t even know them.
How do you make up after disagreements?
Wale: We hardly disagree. If at all that happens, we play and laugh about the whole issue.
Toyin: I bribe him by cooking his favourite meal when we have a disagreement.
Who apologises first after disagreements?
Wale: I always apologise first even when I am right.
Toyin: He is good at that always.
Tell us a remarkable story about your union.
Wale: At first, when I told my friends that I wanted to get married that year, they didn’t believe me. Everyone did not believe me, even my mother thought I was joking until I told her we needed to see my wife’s parents.
Toyin: Marriage has been fun so far. I keep learning every day because human needs are insatiable.
What lessons has marriage taught you?
Wale: Marriage has taught me to be more patient and tolerant. I have learnt these values even before I decided to marry. I remember when we bought our first car. It took me time to convince her why we should buy an SUV instead of a saloon car. Until she accepted, I did not bring the car home.
What pet names do you call each other?
Wale: I call her babe.
Toyin: I call him sax.
Do you entertain your wife and children with saxophone at home?
Wale: I haven’t done that in the house but they get to see me do that in church, events or when they visit me in the studio. I remember I played on my wedding day and my wife said she never saw me play with so much energy.
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