As a woman in a man’s world, I worked 100 times harder to rise –Rear Admiral Ekanem–Nesiama - Naijahiblog.com

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Saturday, March 24, 2018

As a woman in a man’s world, I worked 100 times harder to rise –Rear Admiral Ekanem–Nesiama

Rear Admiral Mercy Ekanem-Nesiama, who is also a medical doctor, recently retired from the Nigeria Navy. She shares her experiences in the military with Ademola Olonilua in this interview

What are your plans for retirement?

After about 33 years of services, my plan is to rest for a little bit, then I would face my passion which is to teach and mentor other people to be able to achieve the things that I have been able to achieve. In a few months, I would get a job where I would continue to practise medicine because I am a doctor; an anaesthetist with special interest in critical care. That is what I have planned.

One would think you would use this opportunity to rest instead of getting another job?

I think if I don’t work, I would die. The work I do is my passion; I cannot just imagine myself being idle. I love reading a lot, both medical and non-medical books. I just cannot imagine leaving everything in my head and not using my knowledge anymore just because I have left the service. I cannot do that.

Why did you join the Navy?

I would say it was the Lord’s doing. When I finished from medical school, University of Ilorin in 1983, I came to Lagos and had my housemanship at the Lagos University Teaching Hospital. After that, I went for NYSC and I was posted to the Nigerian Navy Hospital, now Nigerian Navy Reference Hospital. I worked with them and I liked what I saw. I was not drawn to them because of their uniform, unlike most people. I fell in love with the discipline and regimeted lifestyle. If you were asked to do something, the officers obeyed immediately and they never waited to be prompted twice their unlike a civilian counterparts who would give excuses why it could not be done. When they were enlisting officers into the Nigerian Navy, I decided to give it a shot but I was told that they were not taking women; information that turned out to be false. A few people told me to still try and I listened to them. I applied, then I was shortlisted and invited for an interview at the Naval College, Onne, Rivers State. The three-week interview involved the verification of our credentials, medical exams and physical tests. After we had done all that, we faced an interview panel. When we were done with the panel, they told us to go home and we all went home. By then, I had finished my NYSC. About three weeks after, I was called for the pre-commisioning training in Onne, Rivers State. That was how I became a part of the navy. They also always say, ‘join the navy and experience the world.’

 I am a conservative person who is not loud, so the job suited me well. It did not mean that the military is just for reserved people as well. Whenever I was scored for my socials, I used to get something like 6/10 because I hardly went out or joined my colleagues to have fun. I did the little that I could do but being that I am a serious minded person, I preferred to read. I attend parties but I have never been the type that would go to a party and sleep over. I could attend a party and by 9 pm, I would leave the place and go home because I had work the next day. However, some people would attend that same party, sleep over, take their bath from the place then go to work.

How would you describe your time during training? Was there a time you wanted to call it quits?

During the training, I had to ask myself several times what I was doing in the Navy because it was too rigorous. By that time, I did not understand what they were trying to do; they were trying to teach us what it was like to be military and take out the civilian nature in us. There were times I saw some of the things they did to us as being wicked, but this had nothing to do with the instructors.

There were two sets when we joined the Nigerian Navy. There was the Direct Short Service Commission which I was a part of; we were graduates and older people. We also had the cadet entry officers who were secondary school certificate holders. They were the regular combatant, and they were younger. We slept in different places and went for different classes. Ours was mainly military training while theirs was both academic and military training. Based on the hierarchical system, because they got in before us, they were our bosses even though they were younger than us. They had so much power. We came from the civilian environment; for instance, I had a medical degree, and there were some people who had masters’ degrees. In fact, there were some medical consultants among us. But we were told that those young children were our bosses. I remember I used to call them children even at that time. We did not understand, so these children made sure that we understood the system. We were undertraining officers and once you leave any covered environment, you were expected to run to your destination but if these children ever caught you walking, you were in trouble. They could throw you into a stagnant pool of water or ask you to do the frog jump from one far end to another. It was all part of instilling discipline into us. Coming from a middle-class Nigerian family, I did not understand all they were doing and I thought it was sheer wickedness. They would tell you to plant your pot and that simply means that you would get the cork of any beverage, put it on the floor then your head would be ‘planted’ on it while your legs would be up.

You did all that?

I made sure that I never got into their trouble but the few times they caught me, it was not easy. I had to endure the seven months of training because I could not go back home. No one asked me to join the navy; I made the decision on my own. My father allowed us to do anything we wanted as far as it was the right and legal thing to do. The funny thing is that the problem was not with the instructors; in fact, they were so okay that I felt their lifestyle suited mine. All they expected from us was to read our books and do all that was expected of us. That was fine by me. We used to have fire drill whereby they would wake us up in the middle of the night yelling fire and the last person to leave the room got into trouble. I could understand that training but I just could not understand why those children were treating us that way.

Regardless of everything I just could not go home; if I did, my father would have beaten me even at that age; then he would ask me if the people remaining there had two heads? So I went through it. That was the low period. In some ways, the military drills were nice because of the things we had to study. I made sure I stayed out of the way of the children. It was all part of the training and the truth is that by the end of the day, by the time you come out you would learn not to question orders.

Did the training make you cry at any point?

There were times that I cried but not in the presence of those children. I would go to one private place to cry. I also promised myself that I would not go back because I lived a fairly sheltered life and not the kind of experience I was encountering. Let me give you an example, something happened to the members of the Direct Short Service Commission that seemed like we reported those children to an instructor. The instructors treated us with respect because we were about the same age, so we could confide in them. So one of us confided in an instructor that in the middle of the night, these children woke us up and ordered us to enter the stagnant water where we swam and danced all through the night. The instructor then went to report them to a superior officer and in return, the officer simply pleaded with them to take it easy on us. We suffered for a whole week because of that because they felt we had the guts to report them. Every night when everyone had gone to bed, these children would round us up; we would do the frog jump, roll on the ground among various other punishments. We did that for about a week before they left us.

As a naval officer did you spend time at the sea?

During my time, that was not as rampant as it is nowadays. In my own time, it used to be a day trip and we returned but as the Navy expanded and grew, the women had more opportunities and they started spending more time at sea.

Some people get seasick, was that the case with you during your first trip?

No, I never experienced that. Being a doctor made me take precautions because they frightened us so much and they were actually looking forward to seeing us vomit and wreck everywhere. But I took precaution before the trip. I was never seasick.

How did you break the news to your parents that you wanted to be a military officer?

They could not be bothered. My father was a pharmacist and he retired as the chief pharmacist of the Lagos State University Teaching Hospital, he is now dead, while my mother was a teacher. All they were particular about was that I did the right thing. There was no war as such and they did not think I was putting myself in harm’s way; so that was enough for them to allow me to face my passion. Also, I was a tomboy but I was not a troublemaker. I was fond of climbing trees alone. It did not mean anything to them and the main thing was that I had graduated from school.

How would you describe your childhood?

I was born in Ibadan when my late father was working at the University College Hospital, then we moved to Lagos. I am the first child; I attended private schools except when I went to the university. My childhood was fun and there was no suffering. I remember that on Sundays, my parents would take us out for a picnic. There was no suffering but I got a lot of beatings. For instance, if I fought as a kid for whatever reason, I was sure to be caned by my father. My mother was not fond of beating children; she just ensured that we always read our books and if there was a need to have lesson teachers, my mother ensured that she provided that. My father ensured that you got the appropriate beating for any misbehaviour. There was nothing dramatic about our life; we had a happy childhood.

Is it right to assume that you went into the medical field because your father was a pharmacist?

All my father said was that I should read medicine and I listened to him. During my time, we did not have JAMB; instead we just wrote an entrance examination. My father was a pharmacist and while I was in school, I was a science student. When it was time to go to the university, my father bought the form and instructed me to fill in medicine; that was it. I have enjoyed it because it has been fun all the way. I know that if I did not study medicine, I would have done something that has to do with writing. I would have published some short stories by now.

Can you relive your first experience in the theatre?

Nothing dramatic happened.  The only time I was scared was during pre-clinical. We had to dissect the cadaver, the dead bodies that had been embalmed for years. The boys were naughty, so there were times they could cut a finger from the dead body and put it in a girl’s bag and when she opened her bag and saw it, she would scream. Apart from that, being in the theatre for the first time was quite natural to me.

Is there any case you handled that you would never forget?

There are several cases like that, so many. When it comes to anaesthesia, we are now doing more of what we call regional technics and in this case, you don’t really have to be put to sleep. They just give you an injection that would numb the body. But in my time, it was more of general anaesthesia where the patient had to be put to sleep. That is where it is very delicate; before you come for anaesthesia, you are asked so many questions but some people just refuse to tell us everything. It is when they are under the knife that we start seeing all sorts of things because the patient was not truthful enough, however, that patient must not die. Sometimes you would see sweat drip down your body because you are ensuring that the person must not die. There were so many incidents like that. God had been good because I handled so many cases like that.

Did you have rituals you indulged in before embarking on an operation?

Before I leave my house, I pray to God. Also, my professor taught me that no matter how long you have been on the job, treat each new case like it was your first and every case is not the same. I always pray that nothing happens to my patient. There is also something that is very peculiar to me; if I see so many obstacles while I am trying to do a case, I tell the doctor in charge that we should postpone the case or another person should handle it. I see it as a sign, someone else could handle the case and nothing would happen. I also do not like when they tell me that the person we are treating is the president’s son, you can tell me after the operation but not before. I don’t like to be put under undue pressure. I always treated all patients properly and with care.

Why did you opt for anaesthetics instead of being a surgeon?

I didn’t want to become a surgeon because I did not like the thought of cutting people open. I had this phobia that I could forget something in someone’s abdomen. I would have opted for being a paediatrician instead of becoming a surgeon. I did not want to become a surgeon at all but I did not know that anaesthesia was worse. Sometimes the surgeon would finish his job and it is up to you to wake up the patient. There are some patients that come out of anaesthesia peacefully while for some others, it could be turbulent; so you have to sit beside them till they wake up.

How did you cope in a male-dominated field?

That is the beauty of the military. A man cannot tell me to my face that he would not obey me, he can only grumble behind my back but while you are abusing me if I call you, there is no way you would not obey me. That was the beauty of the military; it instilled discipline in everybody. When it came to my subordinates, I knew when and how to pass my points across during an argument. As for my superiors, there were times where I have tried to pass my message across to them and when I noticed they did not want to entertain my thoughts, I kept quiet. I did not really have a problem but as a woman in a man’s environment to achieve what the man achieves, you have to work 100 times harder.

If you had to work 100 times harder than your male colleagues, how were you able to raise a family and even rise to the rank of Rear Admiral in the navy?

I had a passion for my work; as a young officer, I made sure when I was at work, I faced work. You would hardly hear me complain that my child was ill every time. I found a way around that such that if I ever told you that my child was ill and on admission, you were ready to listen to me and cooperate with me.

This is something I have not found among the new generation of ladies; most times they use their children as excuses. I always tell them that if they want to be promoted with the men, then they have to work as hard as the men.  Your child cannot be ill every day; you cannot always miss work, you have to find a way around it. As I grew up, I made sure that apart from the naval training and its different courses, I also educated myself in any way that I could. I went to acquire an MBA with specialisation in healthcare management. I attended seminars and conferences just to build myself. As I grew in the system, I began to understand it and mentored the younger ones. I was also conscious of the fact that if I did not get it in time, I might close the door for the younger ones coming up. I am the second female admiral and I remember that when the first lady got hers, Rear Admiral Otonu, I thanked her because she had broken the glass ceiling. I was not even thanking her because I knew I would be an admiral myself, it just showed that more people would be able to get it and that was my mindset. I knew that whatever I did was for those behind me. If I was given a command and I didn’t get it right, another woman may not get that same opportunity. When I started, there were not many women in the service so there was something that happened where a lady was given an assignment. She did not want to do it and she got away with not doing the assignment; subsequently they never offered any woman that thing to do again till a very long time, I suffered for it and I did not get to do that thing. The men felt that the women would not do it, so they gave the job to themselves. The younger ladies thought I was very strict but I tell them that the men whom they think are friendlier would readily give men a chance before they think of the female. I was blessed with the passion to want to work.

Some men feel it is a herculean task to woo a lady in the military…

 Have you made an attempt to woo one? It is just a myth, they are just women wanting to be loved. Men should not be afraid to toast a woman in the military. They are just like your sisters. Our tone of voice might be different and the way we talk as well and it is because we give out orders most of the time. As I grew older in the system, I stopped them from answering me with ‘Ma’. I did this because I noticed that whenever they said, ma, they tended to see someone with breasts and the way they related to you would be different from the way they related to the men. If I told a junior officer to sit down, he could beg and call me ‘mummy’ but if a man gave the same order, they sat down immediately. I told them that I am not a ‘ma’ but a ‘sir’. When they called me ‘mummy’, I asked them if they called my male counterparts ‘daddy’. They do not do that, so why are they calling me ‘mummy’. That would hinder our work. I preferred being referred to as a man.

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